Who knows what 50 Shades of Grey is?  I sure don't!  But after this morning, I have a little idea that it might not exactly be a romance novel trilogy.  I thought they might be equal to the wonderful series I read so many years ago starting with The Flame and the Flower.  Apparently, they are not.

I obliviously posted on Facebook that my husband ordered the books on the Nook for me last night, and I got some interesting feedback, so I deleted the post so no more of my church friends might think differently of me if they see I'm reading them.  So, I'm going to start the first book this evening, and keep little records of my thoughts on the books as I'm reading them, just for fun, from a Christian mom's perspective.  (I'm a Christian, but I don't live in a heavily guarded bubble totally protecting me and stopping the whole world from actually breathing on me either).  I saw a link on Twitter about Saturday Night Live doing a hilarious skit about the books, so I clicked on it to give myself an inkling, and it WAS hilarious, and message received!!!!  Totally couldn't wait til this evening to get started on my next reading adventure!

All in all, I'm not sure if it matters if I delete my post or leave it there, but I guess I want to see what's in them first now.  Some of the responses were quite funny because of my "blissful stupidity" on the content, and a couple church friends' comments were not so nice about them, which is interesting.  Should they be more understanding and nonjudgmental?  I thought so -- we're Christian!

Next thought that came to mind was, I'd better make sure I don't get my little 9 year old son shunned from playing with other children from their mommies that decide these books could only mean I'm a bad mother.  They don't know anything about us since we only moved to Texas 8 months ago, and they certainly don't completely know my sense of humor or my values really, so I chose to delete my post and read the books so I can give a more knowledgeable opinion.  I will be keeping track of my reading and thoughts and write down notes based on my perspective and views as an actual living, breathing, feeling, intimacy seeking Christian woman.  As a woman, it doesn't matter what religion you choose to follow, we all have feelings and desires within us.  God put them there for a reason.  It's up to us to use them wisely.

Off to read the first chapter ..........

Hello there in bloggy-land!  Well, long day.  Lost track of time.  Day's done.  But making a personal daily promised entry.  Had a lot of fun just listening to some really old music from the 80s when I was in high school -- listened to some old Chicago House Music, and a few from the 70s, and even watched some old 80s breakdancing videos -- I guess I'm going through some sort of missing my youth time!  We all have these days I suppose where we one day wake up and we're 46!!

Did my Words with Friends, hubby ordered me the trilogy of 50 Shades of Grey, and now, off to start the first book.

I bid you a good night!

My blog description is up.  I just figured out how to do that accidentally by clicking my settings buttons.  I had no idea that option was there, or that I had a spot to describe what I wanted to accomplish!  Wow, who knew!?  Cool beans!

Today I spent a little time looking at other blogs because they caught my interest as the little feeds were being "tweeted" - oh, I signed up for Twitter about a month ago too just to see what it was all about.  I actually like it, and there's a whole world out there!!  Again, cool beans!

I have to admit, so far so good.  5 days into May, and 5 days of blogging under my belt!  New habit well underway!  And I'm enjoying the flow of actually getting some words out of my head.  I can't wait for the day when I'll have even more "purposeful" content to share and elaborate on.  Trust me, I have plenty, just not able to smash my entire library of thoughts into one day!  And I learned, I don't have to!  That's the beauty of writing.  My a-ha moment today was just about that.  My tendency is to have to include absolutely everything at any given moment about anything I'm working on because I have to make sure everyone has all the information and all the options and every last detail of everything.  Well, NO!  That's not true!  Not possible for one thing, and also it's not fun to read manuals for everything all the time anyway.  I, myself even stop reading some articles and blogs if they're too wordy and lengthy because quite frankly, who's got the time to read a novel every single time you click on something?!  Not many moms, that's for sure!

So, let's learn and grow together.  Your patience in my writing journey is more appreciated than you know!  And honestly, it's weird in my head about something, so I'm going to ask some other women bloggers I'm subscribing to on Facebook, Twitter, and BloggyMoms this question -- Is it normal to constantly have words and sentences and paragraphs dancing around in your head that make wonderful titles, story starters, ideas for articles, books, etc. just constantly flowing??  Is that what a writer is - one who lives with a sea of words constantly flowing through their minds!  I gotta tell ya, it's pretty cool if that's what it is!!

And yes, cool beans!

Tonight will be quick and simple just because I promised myself a daily entry.  My husband and I went out to dinner and sat by the lake and watched the sunset tonight!  It was so nice!!!  We NEVER do that!  NEVER!  Since we moved to Texas, we have been out 2 times alone total.  That's it for the past 9 years!!!  We never did date night and never made the time or had the energy.  Now, in the past month, we've been out 2 times alone!! It's such a treat!  We're going to do more date nights and spend more time together because we're figuring out we're not really knowing who the other is.  Time does that I guess when life gets in the way.  Couples can really grow apart without noticing, and then one day you wake up, and see a stranger in your bed!

I have a lot more to say about this subject, but we're planning on talking some more this evening when he gets back from dropping the babysitter at home.  That's why I don't have a lot of time to really get deep here.

Middle of life:  bored; distant; apart; loss of communication; too busy for one another; relationships take a lot of hard work to keep together; thoughts and dreams of having affairs; daily responsibilities overwhelm; grass looks greener over there, etc.  Like I said, a lot to mull over!  I'll need more time to dissect each of these because I sure do seem to have a lot to say about them all, with a few more items to be tossed in the mix as well.

Love is not the issue.  That's there.  It's "stuff" that eats away closeness and enjoyment of one another.

Some thoughts to ponder........

Tonight I'm at a loss as to what to write -- I'm feeling rushed because I need to get my son to bed and it's already 9:00 - late!  I want to keep the daily routine of writing here going to make it a habit -- and I want to be witty, fun, creative, enlightening, exciting, share laughter, and blog with a purpose.  There are so many blogs out there, who has to time to read them all?  Who has time to find them all?  So how do you make yours interesting enough to actually make people want to read them and spend the time coming back for more??  Not sure...but I must get my son to bed, and if I come up with anything of interest while reading and singing, I'll be sure to check back and add some content actually worthy of five minutes out of someone's life!

Ta ta for now --

Nope.  Nothing inspirational after trying to get my son to bed after his bedtime.  Lesson learned.

First thought I shared today, a little after noon, was:  I think I'm going to be losing my mind soon, so if you see me wandering the streets, please introduce yourself.  That's just how I felt by that time today.  This is Week 4 of horrible horrendous homeschooling days with my newly 9 year, 3rd grade son.  I'm just tired and exhausted with the fight of doing SIMPLE math and SIMPLE english -- and I do mean SIMPLE!  We moved from Illinois to Texas on September 2nd, and since we missed the date for the school we intended, decided to homeschool this year until next year.  Our son was begging to be homeschooled like his friends, and really thought it would a lot of fun to do things he wanted to do to learn about.  Well, I had my hesitations because I was afraid he'd give me a hard time about actually doing the work, and my nightmares are being lived out.  We spent most of this year doing not much.  He thought he would get to play all day and that was homeschool.  Well, the past 3-1/2 weeks have been the roughest because of his stamina of resistance.  I've been asking for help and advice since we started this endeavor, and we believe homeschooling is a great choice, but next year, the boy goes to a brick and mortar building with bells and recess.  My mind and health depend on it!

I've read and researched anything and everything I could get my hands on all school year and asking people's advice, but it's all to no avail.  I'm hearing all the "rainbows and unicorns" stories of homeschooling and how wonderful everyone's children are, no yelling and tears from MOM and the kids simultaneously, and how great their days are, and how excited their children are to do the schoolwork and are hungry for more, read on their own, seek out information and research subjects on their own, and are so far ahead of public/private school students - blah blah blah ---- Well, I WANT that child too!  I get stares of shock about my questions!  What I'm asking help about doesn't seem to compute with everyone's angels!  So, I'm going to finish out this year as best we can without turning into an alcoholic, and next year, SCHOOL IN A BUILDING!

So, we're going to do school the old-fashioned way next year, and my nerves will not be shattered; I can paint; I can read; I can write those children's books I've had notes on this whole year; scrapbook; do the housework; and actually remember to cook dinner!!

Well, this whining session wasn't my plan for today, but I guess I needed to vent a bit -- and all this was putting it mildly!  I'm using a special hardhat to hold my brain in my skull at this point (not really, but it feels like it).  And, I'm hoping by continuously writing a little bit each day, my content will evolve as well into the marriage, midlife, and marriage in midlife, and trying to figure out all those "hunky men daydreams" I seem to have -- Good Night All!

Nothing fancy.  Just determined to "start" my blog officially today, May 1, 2012.  It's been a full year since I've started and posted anything, and I'm not happy with those results.  It's been a long long long year!!!!!  So today, on my 13th wedding anniversary, I am re-starting this blog, and will write each and every day about what this year of marriage and life will hold.  Since 13 is an unlucky number, I want to make it my "luckiest" marriage year, and change the thinking on that number!  Plus, it seems that after you've been married for awhile, around these early teen years of marriage, comfort has set in, and mid-life for some of us as well.  So, I'm interested to see for myself how all of this plays into the daily life of the 13th year of marriage.  I know I've been having some really strange mid-life emotions and thoughts for the the whole past year, but I was too embarrassed to let those thoughts out!  I thought I was the only one!  But apparently, I'm not, and I have lots to express and share and let's see how many of us out there are happily married, love our husbands, but still have those "yearning for desire and passion" filled men in our lives, return to our lives, even though they're supposedly still sitting there on the couch.  Maybe if you poke him a few times with a stick he will move!

Well, I've started because I promised myself I would -- and this is not all I intended for the first day, BUT, I started, and that is a milestone in itself, even if very tiny.

I hope to make this entertaining, thought provoking, and as real and honest about my feelings and emotions as I can muster to write about without fear of anyone reading them.  After all, I cannot possibly be the only woman on the face of the earth who thinks and feels the way I do.  We all need someone to relate to proving we're normal.

On that note -- to all a good night!  And tomorrow is another day!